How to Eat a Waffle

Did Honest Abe have a special technique for eating waffles?

We won't answer that question here but watching the youngest Richardson consume a waffle this morning reminded me of an earlier experience with his older cousin. The youngest eats his waffles with his fingers and then wipes his sticky fingers in his curly blond hair. His older cousin, you will see, has a much more refined technique.

How to Eat a Waffle. (Don’t try this at home!)

Receive and inspect waffle. Play with eggs while waiting for syrup. Grab sticky syrup dispenser with both hands. Pour liberally on waffle, first up and down the creases that separate the four parts of the waffle and then over waffled portion. Look at sticky hands. Inspect waffle.

Take knife and cut the four creases to create four waffle quarters. Take same knife and cut one quarter into long strips. Work knife under strip to raise waffle toward mouth. At the same time, lower chin almost to the chest and turn head to the right. Carefully raise knife toward mouth and slip waffle toward mouth without sticking knife in mouth. Fill mouth with waffle, lift-up head and chew. While chewing, declare waffle to be good.

Slip closer to table and repeat. Skip declaration. Drink chocolate milk slowly. Smile. Wipe sticky hands on shirt and think better of it. Reach for napkin and wipe hands.
Finish milk and walk to bathroom to wash hands, face and elbows. Apply soap liberally, wash and dry gently with paper towels. Be careful not to remove freckles.

Walk to car, buckle seat belt and head to Mine Craft camp. Convince Papa to turn on the navigation system and take detour from designated route. Practice saying “route recalculation” in your best robot voice. Discuss other potential detours.
Arrive at camp and depart.

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All photos and text are copyright Clinton Richardson. This image is from Springfield, Illinois, just outside the courthouse where Abe Lincoln practiced law. The photo was taken late one Spring night in 2017. If you like these posts, please tell your friends about the Venture Moola blog at Readjanus.com. For more photos, check out at Trekpic.com. Feel free to share this blog. The more readers the better. 

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